I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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