She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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