It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
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I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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