If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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