Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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