We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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