Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I could make wine with my vomit
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
