I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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