she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How external is "for external use only"?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
