i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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