my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize