I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
