dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
