What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize