DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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