He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
