this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
