Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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