You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
