So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
