Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
