Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Success! We fucked roommates!
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