how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
God, I missed his penis.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
