You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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