The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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