did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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