u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
