I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
