booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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