Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
