Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
