Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
