you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I supernannyed him into submission
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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