so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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