I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
