'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
