What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
