Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
