theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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