You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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