i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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