I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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