I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
