Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
