Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
