can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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