I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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