Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
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Wasting perfectly good bacon is *always* a bad night.
The instinct to protect the bacon, however, is good.
I should gut you for wadting bacon.
Wasting. Hate having no heat