I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
