I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
