i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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