you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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