You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
