Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You're like the curious george of whores
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I smell like Dick and happiness
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
