Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you never un-have a 4some
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
