Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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