Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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