the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize