Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dick very happy bro
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
