i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
