my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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